How do you be a good dad? Meet The 4 Emotional Needs.
The post leading up to this post is: Spend one-on-one time. It would be a good idea to check it out if you haven’t already.
Spending one-on-one time with children helps to meet their need for a sense of belonging.
This post will provide you with some possible activities you can do with each of your children when you spend one-on-one time with them.
Children need one-on-one time with their dad.
When you spend one-on-one time with your child, it’s important to give him or her your undivided attention. No multi-tasking.
Spending time can take as little as 3-minutes or as long as an entire weekend. What matters is that you spend time on a regular basis – every day if you can. Your child needs to feel a sense of belonging every day.
Two Types of activities
There are two types of activities: 1) Unplanned activities, and 2) Planned activities.
Unplanned activities
Unplanned activities are when you do something spontaneously, like walk the dog. “Hey, wanna walk the dog with me?”
It could be running an errand together. “Hey, I’m running to the store. Wanna come with me?”
It could be something you know your child likes to do. “Hey, you wanna throw the ball for a few minutes?”
It could be an activity that your child chooses. “Hey, I’ve got a few minutes. What would you like to do?”
It could be an activity your child does NOT like to do. “Mind if I give you a hand with that chore?”
Bed time is a good time for unplanned activities. After you tuck your child into bed you can spend a few minutes reading or talking.
When you are alone with your child in the car, turn off the radio and strike up a conversation.
Teaching your child a life-skill can be a good way to spend unplanned one-on-one time together. Any time you empower your child to do something that she could not do yesterday, you are meeting her need for a sense of personal power.
But be patient. Let your child struggle and make mistakes. That’s how she learns. You will watch your child’s self-esteem and self-confidence grow as she learns to do new things.
Here are a few examples to get you thinking in that direction. Teach your child:
- How to count
- How to color
- How to read
- How to throw a ball
- How to throw a Frisbee
- How to swing a golf club
- How to shop for food
- How to make a meal
- How to pump up a bicycle tire
- How to change a tire on a car
- How to jumpstart a car
- How to whistle
- How to do a magic trick
- How to play backgammon
- How to solve a math problem
- How to sell something on the internet
Keep in mind that what interests you may not necessarily interest your child.
And what interests one child might not interest another.
Exposing them to many different activities and life-skills will give them opportunities to choose what they like and what they don’t like–and being able to choose helps satisfy their need for a sense of personal power.
Planned activities
Planned time works like this: Say to your child, “Let’s you and me do something together–just the two of us. We’ll set a date and write it on the calendar. What would you like to do?”
There’s something about writing it on a calendar that gives an event importance. Your child will feel important and look forward to your “daddy-daughter date” or your “father-son activity”.
You will be entering her world and doing what she likes to do, so be ready to play.
Depending on her age, you might build a tower with blocks, read a book together, kick around the soccer ball, or just talk.
Your time together should be face to face. No TV.
Be prepared to give your child a choice between two activities if she can’t think of one. “Would you like to play a game or go for a walk?”
100 Activities
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With that out of the way…
Here is a list of 100 activities you can do with your children. They can be used for either unplanned or planned activities.
- Visit the library
- Crafts – see Pinterest for endless ideas
- Bake or cook something
- Simple puzzles
- Read books
- Build a fort with chairs, blankets, and pillows
- Purchase and set up an indoor tent
- Play “I spy”. Google it
- Go for a walk – if raining, take umbrellas
- Build a snowman
- Make snow angels
- Shovel snow – get a child-size snow shovel
- Go to a movie
- Have a movie at home – with popcorn
- Visit a dinosaur museum (or any children’s museum)
- Visit an aquarium
- Visit a trampoline park
- Visit a swimming pool
- Build something with blocks or Legos
- Play with hot wheels
- Play with trains
- Roll or bounce the ball to each other
- Bounce a ball into a bucket or box
- Go out to lunch
- Play dough
- Draw or color something
- Make ants on a log (celery, peanut butter, raisins)
- Origami
- Balloons – keep it in the air
- Wrestling
- Pillow fight
- Hide and seek
- Chase and be chased
- Finger paint with Jell-O pudding or yogurt
- Stickers
- Homemade obstacle course
- Visit the zoo
- Lie on the trampoline or grass at night with blankets and pillows and look at the stars
- Play catch
- Play a game–Old Maid is a card game with matching cards. Turn them all face down and take turns flipping over two cards, trying to find the matching pair
- Shoot some hoops
- Go to a golf course. Practice putting on the putting green, hit a bucket of balls, or play a round.
- Have a picnic – outdoors or indoors
- Take the dog to a dog training class
- Write a letter to someone you both know, like Grandma, or a friend
- Sing songs
- Crank up the music and dance
- Plant flower or vegetable seeds – create a garden
- Go to the park
- Take pictures or video – make a movie
- Put together a puzzle
- Build a fire and make s’mores (teach fire-building)
- Build something with wood – maybe a bird house
- Make homemade pizza
- Rake leaves and jump in the pile
- Make water balloons. Play catch with one as you slowly back farther away from each other
- Go on a bike ride
- Have fun with Play Dough
- Go on a hike
- Attend a baseball, basketball, soccer, or football game
- Go fishing
- Go out for ice cream, pie, bagels, donuts, pizza or burgers
- Look at things under a magnifying glass
- Look at things under a microscope
- Go horseback riding
- Blow bubbles
- Paint a picture by numbers
- Attend a play or dance performance
- Wash the car
- Fly a kite
- Jump rope
- Play hopscotch
- Exercise together
- Go jogging together – enter a 1-mile or 5K race
- Color with crayons or colored pencils
- Go bowling – or set up a bowling alley in your hall with empty 2-liter plastic bottles and a softball.
- Play Simon Says
- Listen to music and play homemade instruments together
- Start a journal with each child
- Prepare a family meal together
- Start a collection
- Play with sidewalk chalk
- Play tetherball
- Play ping pong
- Indoor or outdoor miniature golf
- Tell jokes
- Play hillbilly golf (Google it)
- Attend an auction and bid on something
- Ride inner-tubes or toboggins down a snowy hill
- Feed the ducks at a local pond
- Have your child teach you something he knows but you don’t
- Create and write a blog
- Write a song
- Write a story
- Write a poem
- Experiment with a new recipe
- Go swimming together
- Go camping in the woods, the backyard or the living room
- Bathe the dog
- Mow the grass
Moving Forward
You are well on your way to becoming the best dad you can be. Click here to be taken to the list of dad-skills where you can choose the next dad-skill you want to learn.