I teach incarcerate men how to be good dads.

In the last post, the 4 Emotional Needs part 2, I explained the last 2 Emotional Needs: To be heard and understood, and Boundaries. On the whiteboard I have written the following:

At this point, my students are ready to learn the dad-skills they will use to meet the 4 Emotional Needs.

But first, I want to emphasize the importance of what they just learned, so I ask, “So tell me. How do you be a good dad?”

They’ll say, “Be present,” or “Love your kids.”

I’ll say, “Whenever someone asks, ‘How do you be a good dad?’, always answer with this: Meet the 4 Emotional Needs.”

“This is the key to achieving the 4 Objectives and quickest way to becoming a good dad.”

How to meet the 4 Emotional Needs

Now it’s time to learn how to meet these four emotional needs. Here is what I tell my students.

You will meet your children’s 4 Emotional Needs by practicing 4 Dad-Skills.

1. You will meet their need for a sense of belonging by spending one-on-one time with your children.
2. You will meet their need for a sense of person power by giving them choices.
3. You will meet their need to be heard and understood by acknowledging their negative feelings.
4. You will meet their need for boundaries by setting and enforcing expectations.

As I speak, I complete my diagram on the whiteboard:

Look what our picture is telling us.

To achieve the 4 Objectives and become a good dad, meet the 4 Emotional Needs.

To meet the 4 Emotional Needs, practice these 4 Dad-Skills.

For almost all my students, this is the most enlightened they have ever felt about being a dad. This gives them hope that being a good dad is within their grasp.

They come to realize for the first time, this looks possible. I think I can do this.

Their countenance is brighter than when they first entered my class.

What about YOU?

Now I want to talk to YOU. I assume you’re a dad that has come to this website looking for answers to questions about raising your kids.

It is my intention to give you a “picture” of what this website can do for you – starting with the picture we created above.

However, we are not going to stop with only 4 dad-skills.

No. There are more dad-skills, and I intend to cover them in my future posts.

Moving Forward

The next post is a list of dad-skills and a link to each one.

Anytime you want to go to a particular dad-skill, click on the category, “Dad-skills list” Then click on the post entitled, “Dad-skills list”.

You will be presented with a list of dad-skills. Simply click on the dad-skill you want to see.