When it comes to raising children, there are two questions that are commonly asked concerning our children’s behavior:

Question #1. What should I do now that something has gone wrong?

This has to do with Correcting misbehavior. What should I do now that my child’s behavior is displeasing?

• What should I do when my child ignores me?
• What should I do when my child doesn’t do his chores?
• What should I do to stop my children from fighting?
• What should I do when my child is defiant?

These are questions we ask in the heat of the moment when things are going badly.

Question #2: What can I do so things go right?

This has to do with Preventing misbehavior from even happening.

• How do I teach my child to respect me?
• How do I teach my child to take on responsibility?
• How do I help my children to love each other?
• How do I help my child to be a happy member of my family?

When I was a young parent, I spent most of my time on Question #1: What should I do now that something has gone wrong? (Because things went wrong a lot).  But I’ve since learned that the better question to ask is Question #2: What can I do so things go right?

Here’s the lesson I learned that I want to pass on to you. Spend more time and energy on Question #2 than on Question #1. Focus more of your energy on helping things to go right than on dealing with them after they have gone wrong.

If you are going to meet your child’s four emotional needs and achieve the Three objectives, you’re going to have to focus the majority of your energy on making things go right. But that’s OK, because if more things go right, then less things will go wrong.

There will be less misbehavior and more cooperation. The odds of your children making good choices when you are not around will increase, and you will build a stronger family.

The next post will show what you can do to make things go right.